On Thursday, Spotify CEO Daniel Eck said that he never thought this day would come.
“Dating back to 2008, our goal at Spotify was to reward musical artists whose fans listened to their music,” Daniel nervously said. “And today, we’re elated to announce that we’ve reached the hundred dollar mark to our first artist.”
Posing in a socially distanced room of two people with a giant check in the amount of $100.00000029 payable to Glasgow’s Amir Hussain, Daniel said this was only the beginning of artists finally getting their due.
“It’s about time,” Daniel sternly but happily said. “I’ve never met Amir, but with over 96M streams on our platform, he’s gotta be pretty popular even though my kids have never heard of him.”
Amir, a Trance and Progressive producer/DJ known for his witty humor and somewhat bland appearance, doesn’t fit the mold of your typical streaming sensation.
“I honesty thought Tekashi 6ix9ine would’ve beat him to the punch,” Daniel said, “My kids know who he is, and he seems like a stand-up guy, but whatever, I guess Amir beat him to it.”
Amir couldn’t be reached for comment at the time of this writing, but his three Twitter followers are already congratulating him with a stream of underwhelming posts.
To celebrate the occasion, Daniel unveiled a new playlist celebrating the platform’s highest-earning DJs, with all proceeds from streams going to Spotify.
“Editor” Note: This article is obviously a spoof.
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